Dear New Person working with my son

Dear New Person working with my son,

I just thought I would share a few things with you as you begin working with my child.

I hope you are a kind, loving and firm person.  I hope that you are creative and imaginative. I hope that you see outside of the box, but also see inside of the box that my son is in.

I hope that you have some kind of background and knowledge about autism, but not enough to make you an “expert”.  I don’t care that you have 3 degrees in “Autism Spectrum Disorders” and that your parents had a special needs daycare for 15 years (but you never worked with an autistic child).

That doesn’t mean that you know what is best for MY CHILD. My son, is not a case in a book that you studied, he is not the kid that your parents babysat.  My son is an individual, one of a kind, no one like him kinda guy. (as are all autistic people)

Most of all, I hope that you have what it takes to be such a huge part of my son’s daily life.  You see, I am and always will be his #1.  But you will need to be able to fill in as the runner up.  He needs to like you, TRUST you, rely on you, respect you and bond with you.

So here is what you need to know,  my son is a very happy young man, he loves his music, watches, planes, trains, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Scooby Doo and pictures of his favorite DVD’s.  Do not take these away from him…use them as tools.

He loves food, but if he has a day were he doesn’t eat for you, that’s okay…he will make up for it at home.  Because of his love of food, he needs to be kept active.  He can’t be allowed to sit and do nothing all day.

He understands 99% of what you say, and if you allow him to, he will manipulate you with affection or aggression.  This is where you need to be firm and gently push through any of his attempts to distract you.  He is a sweetheart and a flirt, and he knows how to use this to “sweet talk” you into letting him off easy.

He is smarter than we give him credit for…he can figure out how to make things work, either by pushing buttons, or by kissing your cheek until you melt from the sweetness and give in.

Although he doesn’t speak, if you pay close attention, you can figure out what he is trying to say., he can be very cleaver when trying to communicate with you.

With that all said, I hope that you and Buddy connect and that you can help him to make some strides in his skills and cut away, some of the autism box that surrounds him.

But keep in mind that,  that non-verbal, 6ft, young man that you are working with, is my baby…my life.  If you hurt him in any way, you won’t have to worry about the Wrath of God…but you WILL have to worry about the Wrath of Mom!

Welcome to the team!

~ASM

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