It’s all about the dance

Buddy loves his music, he will find a song that he likes, and play it continuously for days…weeks and months.

He has several favorite songs, but he will usually favor one tune to play the life out of.   Thankfully, we have the same taste in artist/songs.  Unfortunately, this means that several of my CDs have been pilfered and what was once mine, has become his…that is, until he breaks the CD or scratches it beyond repair.

When the inevitable happens, he brings the remains of the disc to me to fix.  Which, sometimes I can, but more often than not,  I have to slip it out of his sight, until it can be safely tossed under something gross in the trash.

Several month ago, Buddy and I started attending a dance, and I requested one of his songs.  I pulled him to the dance floor and wrapped my arms around his waist and we swayed to the music.  This has become “our thing”.   It is known that we dance to this song  at each dance.  He even knows it.  And he seems to like it as much as I do.

Lately, he has been listening to Elvis “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You”.  This evening I went into his room and it was quiet.  I discovered that the CD was broken.  I know how much Bud loves this song, so I did what any good mother would do, and I burnt him a new CD of Elvis tunes.

When I put it in his player, he grinned ear to ear and pushed the “next” button to hear 3 second snippets of each song.  I helped him to find his favorite, but he he kept pushing the button for more snippets.   I told him to wait and listen to the songs, as I took over the button pushing.   I stopped at all the songs and sang a little bit and he would reach for me to push it again.  I finally stopped on “Return to Sender” and he let me sing a bit as he giggled.  Since he was standing, I grabbed him and made him dance with me.  (cuz, I’m the mom and that’s what moms do)  After a minute or so, I left the room so he could enjoy his music without me ruining it for him.

About an hour later I walked by his room and he is playing “Return to Sender”.  I tell him that it’s time for bed and he needs to turn it off.  He then grabs me, pulls me to him, wraps my arms around his waist and puts his arms around my shoulders.  I say “Okay Buddy, Mom will dance with you”.  We danced for several minutes, only stopping long enough for him to push the rewind button after the chorus.   Each time that I tried to pull away, he pulled closer.  Each time I said “C’mon Bud, it’s bedtime” he’d push the button again.

I don’t know if he thought he was getting away with staying up, by dancing with me, of if he was letting me know how much he appreciated me making him a new CD.   But either way…

It’s all about the dance.

~ASM

Things that I have learned, being a autism mom.

I have learned a lot in my nearly 24 years, at being an autism mom.

I have learned that my son can find the correct button to work the DVD player in his room, to find the exact part of the video that he wants to watch.  Even if it is a totally different player than he had the day before.

I have learned that I cannot sneak a bowl of ice cream, to eat by myself…the unwritten rule is: all desserts on Mom’s plate must be shared equally with the boy, or you will be required to refill the empty plate until the boy has satisfactorily gotten his share.

Cookies of all kinds must be accompanied by a cup of milk…in the dedicated “milk cup”.

If Magic Shell is found in the pantry, (that mom has forgotten was there) ice cream will have to be also found, or added to the grocery list.

Pasta must have grated cheese and bread to be eaten.

If items are hidden, no one is allowed to mention the location of said item, if the boy is within 50 yards of the conversation.

I have learned the power of counting to 3.  I rarely get past the number 2, before I see him responding.

Singing silly songs will make the boy smile, allowing for a tooth brush to enter his mouth for as long as the song lasts. And singing the Barney song, will get a kiss and a hug every time!

Pretending that you are clueless gets him to figure out how to communicate his wants and needs.

I have learned that the boy understands most everything we say to him, however, like most kids…he ignores me.

I have learned that he thinks he is outsmarting me, especially when he does something he isn’t supposed to, while covering himself with a blanket…”The cloak of invisibility has no power here, Son”.

I have learned that the boy understands, and if you want something, you have to ask nicely, by kissing your mother on the cheek to say “please”.

And most of all, I have learned that you don’t have to have words to make someone feel loved.  One hug from the boy, says “I love you, Momma” louder than 100 PA systems at a rock concert.

~ASM