Non-Verbal Communication

Hubby and I took Buddy to town with us last week and we decided to stop at Denny’s to get lunch.

I cannot tell you how much I love doing this.  Mostly because 7 years ago, doing something so basic as going to lunch with Buddy was something that would cause me major anxiety, and quite honestly, we just wouldn’t do it.

This is one of the goals that I have to credit his care giver for.  She has been phenomenal, I think it’s because she is a foodie and takes Buddy to all of her favorite restaurants. And now he is a foodie too!

Anyway,  we took Buddy to lunch at Denny’s and when we got there, we had a 5 minute wait.  I kept whispering to him, “You’re doing great” “We just have to wait a few minutes” “I am so proud of you”.

We get seated and I sit on the outside of the booth and he is on the inside.  As we order our food and wait, I have my arm around him and I keep telling him those same statements.   I also turned on Spotify, because as we all know, music can be magic to an autistic.

Our food comes and Buddy eats every bite and a few of mine too.  Then as we wait for the check, he puts his arms around me and pulls me so tight to him that my glasses almost fall off my face.  As he kisses my cheek, I hear it, not with my ears, but with my heart.

My non-verbal son, just said “Thank you Mom, I love when you take me to lunch, and I love you!”   as he held me and kissed me again, I felt him say “You’re doing great, I am so proud of you!”

As we drove home and I pondered this wonderful experience, it occurred to me he does this every time I take him to lunch.  I think we need to do it more often!

 

~ASM

 

Why I Carry My Son

As a parent of a child with special needs. I was expecting the stares, the avoidances and the reassuring.
Today, I was told “I would not be carrying him”. “He can walk.” “Oh my back.” They exclaimed.
Sure, the person meant well, but is it something that should be said? Sure, I explained my son has special needs (I kind of have to). But I could tell the person was still kind of eh.
I carry my son at the age of 4 to keep him safe. Sure, it hurts my back eventually. But my number one priority is to keep him safe. If I put him down he will run away faster then I can catch him.
If I try to make him hold my hand he will force himself away or drop to his legs to get away.
My son is a runner. So I carry him to keep him safe. Sure, at times he rides in a cart or stroller. But in this situation it was easier to just carry him.
~ AMB  

Do you ever wonder what your child would be like if he/she didn’t have an intellectual disability?

Buddy is now 26, so I sometimes wonder what he would be like if he were a typical 26yr old.

I know he would be funny.

He would love pizza AND broccoli.

He would not like wrinkled clothes or striped shirts.

He would be slightly self impressed.  Not passing a mirror without taking a gander at himself.

He would be very laid back and non-confrontational.

I imagine that he would work with his hands…fixing airplanes or cars (like his uncle and grandfather)  most likely.

He would love dogs and cats, and would have 2 dogs, one named Scooby and one Clifford.

He would drive a 4×4 but have desire to also own a shiny sports car and a John Deere.

He would watch old sitcoms and documentaries.  And have a great knowledge of music and a vast library of CDs.

He wouldn’t be a leader or a follower…but a “by your side all the way” friend.

He would be a sweet, loving, affectionate person.

How do I know?  Because these are all traits and likes that he already has.